Resolutions

Winter has hit the Pacific Northwest; the way my car swayed crossing the bridge coming home from work last night wouldn't let me forget that. I listened to the sound of rain pounding down on the roof of the motor-home running from one end to the other duct-taping washcloths to the ceiling in hopes of keeping the water off my floor. The weather took a turn on Christmas day, and hasn't let up since. There is a say about Oregon; Oregon has three seasons, rain, rain, rain, and road construction. Right now, it feels very true. It’s part of why I love this part of the country though.

Call me crazy, but I have a bond with the rain. It feels like communication from my Father, the heavenly one, and the one who is gone. The day my Dad passed away was beautiful and sunny in Missouri, until the moment I boarded the plan to go home to be with my Mom and sisters. As I passed through the "walk way" and onto the plane, I noticed the rain falling in the small gap between the two. I reached out to touch it; the feeling of wet on my fingers is something I have yet to forget.

For me, it was like his way of saying goodbye. On the day I decided to marry my husband (now ex) and move back to the Northwest from Kentucky, it rained. When I broke up with my husband, it rained. The day I moved in to my very first apartment, all by myself, it rained. The day my Mom and Step-dad offered me the motor-home as an alternative to living in a hotel, it rained. There are many other moments like these. Coincidence, maybe. In fact, as often as it rains here it would be almost impossible NOT to make some sort of life altering choice on a rainy day at least once in a while.

Still, the rain is special to me. I tried not to resent it last night as I found wet spots by the vents and ceiling lights. It's all fixable, and truly a matter of perspective. My original intention was to post about New Year's Resolutions, obviously I've strayed far.

Heavy on my mind lately has been something deeply personal, and the little drips from the ceiling were like an affirmation of how I decided to deal with these feelings. I am going to make this affirmation part of my New Year's Resolutions. I have only four this year, and like Sarah of Clover Lane, they are one word each. Hopefully I won't forget what they mean halfway through the year. I jotted them down in next year’s planner tonight, and hope to come back to this blog next year and celebrate achieving at least a few of them.

Happy Anniversary

A month ago this morning I woke up after spending my first night in the motor-home. Insignificant it may be, in the grand scheme of things. Right now though, it feels huge. Many things have changed since that first night. A lot has stayed the same. Problems have been conquered, only for new ones to arise. 

It's crazy, that so few days have passed. It feels like an eternity. The week proceeding moving in, I was staying in a hotel. Before that, I was sharing a home with my sister, her husband, and their two children. We had been living together on and off for going on 3 years, and it has been strange adjusting to all this... aloneness. 

Is aloneness a word? Spellchecker is throwing a fit, but I refuse to change it. Some nights this life is very lonely. Achingly so, when you're used to having tiny children and other adults around ALL the time. Bubbly's presence makes those moments much easier to handle. They are few and far in between, thankfully. I have always been a loner, happy with my books, computer, and self. I feel like ME. Or the me I used to be.

In many ways I didn't just move into a home, but I -came- home. It may only make sense to me, but that's why I am writing here. Chronicling the moments of sadness, the victories, the questions, the progress. I hope to look back a year from now, and shake my head in wonder... where did all the time go?

For now, I can't believe it's only been a month. It feels like forever. Last night I peeled wallpaper off the kitchen walls. My first step towards renovation. One that will require more work than I realized. There is two more layers of paper beneath the one I removed yesterday.

Here I go, off to slay the dragon I call home.

Dashed

My goal for today was to get new pictures of the motorhome to chronicle how I've settled in to the space without making any renovations. It's raining though, and for some angles I would actually have to step outside and shoot through the door or a window to get a decent shot... so, pictures to come in the New Year!

I will tell you that the chairs that came with the motorhome have been removed. They were Awful. AWFUL. I replaced one with a simple rolling chair, and the other with a bookcase. All in and all I am happy with the change, and find everything to be much more comfortable. Being down one seat doesn't bother me much anyway, as the total amount of people I have had in the trailer is 3 adults and 1 baby... there was plenty enough room for us all.

A gripe would be the overall lack of wall and counter space. Right now my television sits on an end table that is actually sitting on top of one of the fold out beds. Tacky, and slightly dangerous... but there is no where else for it. One day I would like to upgrade to a flat panel wall mount for space reasons... but there is no where to mount one. I could look into some sort of under cabinet mounting system I suppose, but then I run the risk of blocking out natural light from the windows.

Television isn't all that important, it's just there for the noise really. I guess that's a small gripe, and if it's the biggest I have at the moment, I'm in a good spot.

Propane, how I love thee.

[ Image Source ]

Every day I am left in awe of the wonderful people I call neighbors. I have mentioned their generosity before, and can't stop smiling when I think about everything they have taught me, and helped me with the past few weeks.

When I got home from work today there was a fire ring sitting beside my picnic table. All I have to do is decide where I want it... they will do the rest, including getting me wood. HEAT. Wonderful. The nights have been cold here, and I love to sit outside and breath... I am looking forward to my first fire.

The best part of the night though, was another neighbor helping me connect my propane tank to the motor-home. It has been interesting, cooking with a counter-top oven and a hot plate. When the hot plate stopped working I was heating up water in the microwave and crock-pot... dishes... sucked. 

My stove now works though! Hallelujah. The motor-home has a 24 gallon on board tank, but as this is my -home- I'd rather not go driving it every time it needs propane, so I was trying to hook up a small tank to the big tank. It required a special connection and an o-ring... and lots of time fiddling making sure everything worked and wasn't leaking. 

I made a steak tonight, and I swear... it tasted magnificent. Tomorrow we're going to get the hot water heating working, and I'll be able to shower at home, rather than having to go back and forth to The Park's shower.

Loves

I introduced you to Bubbly the other day, and wanted to share the other great loves of my life with you as well.

Liam and Kiwi Girl are my youngest sisters children, and they both have wiggled into a very special place in my heart. I am blessed with a total of 2 nephews and 3 nieces, all under the age of 3! Liam and Kiwi Girl are the closest of them all though, and therefor I spend the most time with them. In fact, as I write this Liam is curled up on my fold out snoring away.

Here are a few shots of them from Thanksgiving 2011. Neither were very cooperative, and my camera isn't the greatest... but I love them all the same.

Bubbly

Meet Bubbly, my new baby!

He's a 1 year old Maltese I rescued a week or so ago.

Otherwise known as: Bubbles, Boboli, Bobo, Bubs, Bubba, and Jack.

Checking In

It's been exactly two weeks since I moved in. Yesterday a kind neighbor drove the motorhome a space forward, and helped me level out once more. My old space was a mud hole, and smaller than the rest due to trees. There were "streets" on each side, and frankly... it was one of the worst spots in The Park. The spot I am in now is "invite" only. Meaning the neighbors on the row have to want you to have the space before the owner of the park will give it to you.

I don't know what I did to charm the two older gentlemen who have been a great resource and help to me, but somehow they have become friends. They spoke for me, and now the space is mine. Home sweet home. When I look out the front windows I see the field, alpacas, and sunshine. To the back is a "street", and on each side of me there are quiet families.

The space came with a concrete slab to walk on, instead of mud, a picnic table, and a small herb garden. Rosemary and thyme grow right outside my door. There is space for a shed, another garden, and a run/fenced area for Bubbly. One of these days I will get to building him a small shelter and playground.

The motorhome is level now, and my drain hose is working properly. Soon I'll have propane hooked up, and won't have to heat water for dishes in the microwave! The cable and internet work, and I've yet to go hungry.

Bubbly and I are settling in with each other. He's a rescue, and the sweetest guy I have ever known. He came from a family that had 6 dogs older than him, and was starving for attention. We go for walks several times a day, and he has already made friends with the neighbor dogs. Watching them chase each other in circles never fails to make me smile.

Of course, there are downsides, like space. Funny, how little of it there is, and how many things I manage to lose in a course of a day. There are all sorts of nooks and crannies, and today I found my favorite flashlight under the front passenger seat. No idea how it got there, but it's got a new home hanging by the door!

At Peace With Myself

It's been an interesting week. Unpacking took me much longer than expected. One would think that having limited space and sparse belongings would make unpacking easier. I was completely wrong.

I had to sleep, wake up, and use the motorhome for several days before the idea of where things belonged came to me. For a while I slept on the pull out near the table and captain chairs... and felt smothered and uncomfortable. So I moved to the pull out in the kitchen, and wham bam! The motorhome suddenly seemed much more spacious and homey.

After a lot of deliberating, things are unpacked (save the bathroom - because some on, it's the bathroom!), and I have cooked, done dishes, changed, slept, relaxed, and cleaned. It feels like home. The last box I unpacked had a few pieces of decor in it... mostly carved whales and sea glass. There are so few places for knickknacks I selected only a few, and hung the seaglass from hooks around the home.

Today I met a little maltese dog who will be making his forever home with me tonight. I have a feeling that having some companionship will really make the motorhome feel like my home.

I'm Movin' On - Rascal Flatts