Crazy Choices!

The 10 days have not been all that great. Between the crazy work schedule, a change in my meds, payday, and some unneeded drama I am whooped. There ups and downs with my eating, some days were better than others. My sleep suffered so much that one day I crashed in town on friends couch instead of brave the 45 minute drive home.

I have decided to move. The cottage I live in now is serene, and when I first moved in the distance from town was perfect. It kept me from using shopping as therapy and helped me realize how important downtime is after work. I also became much more comfortable behind the wheel, and learned to drive while tired. 

Unforgettably there are times I am simply too tired. 45 minutes each way and 12 hour shifts eat in to the time I have to sleep while home. Another reason I've decided to move is school. It's time to go back, and I can't afford the gas to drive both to work and college. After writing out a pros and cons list I decided it was time to go. Hopefully I will find out Wednesday if the place I looked at in town is mine!

As much as I will miss the cheap rent, gorgeous yard, and quiet community I am looking forward to being less than 2 miles from my work, doctor, psychiatrist, a gym, the store, college, and my friends. Even though the rent will be more expensive, I will still be saving money on gas and laundry, since there are washer/dryer hook-ups. I'll have to get some furniture, since the cottage came partially furnished, a dining table or desk, an end table and coffee table, rugs, oh... and a washer and a dryer.

School, moving... It's been a crazy week in my head and instead of running it out I indulged in food. Tuesday's weigh-in isn't going to be pretty. I am slowly getting myself back on track and hope to handle the upcoming changes in a healthier way.

Woah!

Never let anyone tell you that nursing isn't a dangerous profession. My first night back was a whopper. Luckily I was working telemetry and not the floor, but I felt for my coworkers. We had some dangerous situations and it made for a long chaotic night.

Otherwise my night was ok. I had a lot of anxiety about going back to work, and by a lot I mean a semi-load. I actually considered calling in. Instead I threw myself in to prepping lunches for the week and getting ready.

The dogs started to bark (my landlord has 2) and I heard a man on my porch. Thinking it was my Step-Dad (not very many men know where I live) I tripped through the messy house and to the door. It was my Pastor.

Slightly mortified, I ushered him inside and apologized for the mess. I was still in my pajamas and kind of greasy from cooking. He watched as I continued to meal prep and we talked. I haven't been to church since Easter.

I started taking the anti-depressant that spiraled me out of control right after Easter and just haven't been able to face church. The fact that he showed up today was a God-send.

I told him the truth about what has been going on and we talked a bit about how sometimes when I feel like I should pull away I really should be stepping forward. Then he prayed for me and my first night back and left.

If you're curious, this is what I have packed for lunches this week. Since I work 12 hour shifts I tend to pack 3 'meals' and 2 snacks.

Meal 1: Taco Pasta
Meal 2: Salad
Meal 3: Baked tortilla chips & funky mango salsa
Snacks: Broccoli, watermelon

Since I didn't work out before work I am going to skate right in under my calories, maybe a little bit over. Generally I eat more my first night back since I am trying to stay awake.

It was fun to do my hair and makeup up. I played around a bit in front of the mirror and got a new picture for my FB page.

Haha. I am half tempted to use it just to be silly. Here is the real one.

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Short and Sweet

I dithered about going for my run yesterday. For a while I sat on my bed, all dressed to go out... trying to talk myself out of going. Last weeks funk still has its claws in me. Eventually I stopped listing of excuses and just went.

I am so glad I did! I knocked 8 seconds off my mile and 32 seconds off my 5k. It seems like such a small number but it felt great!

Nike + Stats

The run itself was on the painful side, I actually walked a large part of it... But I did it! This only my second time doing a full 3.1 miles.

We switched glasses, what do you think?

Work last night was busy but I still found time to have a little bit of fun with a coworker. A. has been super supportive of my efforts to get healthy and I really appreciate her friendship.

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